Thursday, April 4, 2013

Indians 3, Blue Jays 2 (F/11): I Have A Policy

I had almost all of this one on the radio (the computer radio) while I was engaged in other, extremely important activities and exercises befitting a human of my status and attainment, and it was actually kind of a honey. Brandon Morrow threw like a million pitches en route to being pretty awesome at times (this is his way), and Maicer Izturis improbably hit the first dinger (let us hope the first of many dingers) of this Blue Jays season. He also totally rushed a throw from third and winged it past E5 at first, allowing the go-ahead Cleveland run to score late, but, I mean, who among us. The number of throws from third I myself have hucked into the woods is totally disproportionate to the number of innings I logged at the hot corner in my youth, so I was not upset, particularly. And anyway after that Jose Bautista totally homered! I took my headphones off and raised my arms in jubilation! Things were thus tied after nine, and I called it a night. 

I did this because I have a policy and that is that it is not worth watching extra inning baseball games except in certain rare instances, and this is why: if I watch like thirteen innings and the Blue Jays lose, I will feel like I have wasted my life and all is blasted. If I watch like thirteen innings and the Blue Jays win, I will feel pretty good about it, but not that much better than if I skip out after nine and just find out later that they've won. There will be perhaps the slightest pang, the faintest sensation that it might have been neat to see that, but I will mostly be happy they won and move on with my affairs. But, again, to sit through an extra-innings loss is the worst, and I will not do it. 

If this strikes you as foolishness, which it almost certainly is, I will say in my defense that I have stayed patiently in my seat throughout the duration of hundreds of baseball games at the SkyDome, many of them utter shit-shows, without leaving early. I think I have left maybe three baseball games early ever, and in every case, if memory serves, it was because of concerts and shows and stuff. So do not think I am one of those people; the particular brand of foolishness I am advancing here is in some respects, I think, without precedent.


1 comment:

  1. I have actually practiced this foolishness as well. One never knows how long this might drag out so it is best to move on with normal life. One day I hope for the sometimes dreamed about miracle that I wake up the next morning AND THEY ARE STILL PLAYING IN LIKE THE 32ND INNING! Wouldn't that be a thing?